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I think puns are the greatest things to have been made since sliced bread.


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so my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying the other day and we did the whole “professor and bad student who needs to pass” thing, only he wanted to be the professor, so I had to be the horny and failing student. I’m the valedictorian of my senior class of 400 and I have a horrible phobia of flunking, so when he whispered “you’re failing my class, you naughty girl” in my ear, I started crying and we had to stop

(via loonygoon)

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'hey, we're bees' is probably the calmest reaction ever to this situation
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I just
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fucking hell

This made me freak out so much my whole body tensed up and I got a leg cramp
Tumblr Themes I touched John Green’s crotch.



It felt mushy.

If he sees this post it will be really awkward. Hopefully he’s too busy right now to be reading through posts he’s tagged in. 

*I should stress that it was an accident. He was stage diving. I was trying to hold him up. Hands ended up places. 

I remember you.

(Source: masturbatorynavelgazing, via did-i-just)

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america is never going to win this war on drugs holy shit

What’s that flying across the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? NO it’s a bag of CRACK COCAINE